Poopage Scoopage™ Systems, Inc.


POOPAGE SCOOPAGE™ Systems use the EXACT SAME technologeeze used by assedernots what may one day be crawling all over Uranus! Each POOPAGE SCOOPAGE™ system is scientypically designed to match the requirements of yer dawg and shit. Each of our systems include a scoopage tool, spacialy designed with yer dawg's end in mind, and a reveloosinary baggage system that opens only on one end so shit don't fall out the other end when you put shit in it! No more mess! Enjoy the freedom of sandals!

Here are just a few of our models!

The Bag & Toss Junior® POOPAGE SCOOPAGE™ System is for when you have a Chewowow (actually the Chewowow is a large rodent, but can be trained to evacuate its bowels on command by simply looking at it), and you has to pick up the single lil turdlette they leave behind.

This system is ready to grow with you! This solid state equipment can be used to pick up multiple single lil turdlettes! No need to upgrade just cause el Quavo manages to get his lil rodent pecker packed into the Pinto Santa Maria bitch and knocks her up! And! If you get fed up with being seen takin three shakey lil rats on a leash out fer a public dump, the bag is big enough to dispose of the entire problem!

The Long Load® POOPAGE SCOOPAGE™ System doesn't play shortstop. Got one of those weird hotdawg dawgs? Now - eliminate that pesky foot-long problem where you has to break and fold their deposit to get it in the bag! And! The included custom designed tongs, custom designed so you don't get dawg shit all over yer hands, make pickin up them puppies as easy as pluckin sausages from a sizzlin stew!

Optional roof not included.
You want the roof, trust me.

The Load Master® POOPAGE SCOOPAGE™ system is your best choice if you has one of those huge freekin dawgs what you see in sci-fido movies, all hung down to the top of a tractor-trailer and cloggin up yer driveway with superscentory sediments. It lifts those big jobs as easily as a fork lifts them ones that Chewowow sized dawgs leave behind! The bagging/mulching attachment is a real timesaver! Fertileyes yer entire freekin community!

Order today and stuff.